In the cross hairs.

I got accused of many things today. None of them good.

The label of someone else's accusations and the dismay of being shunned, skinned, and blackmailed due to lack of,,, well,,, I still don't know the answer to that.

You see, I spent a few hours with an angry attorney with an agenda to ruin me. Never good.

I was accused of being 'judgmental'.  My blog is judgmental? My thoughts, my struggles, my desire to help a pet at the expense of a human's desires for it. That is judgmental? If so, I wear it with pride and the conviction that every living thing has a desire to live and a list of basic needs. These include love and compassion. Our greatest gifts and our biggest challenges... And, to remind the angry masses it is accurately, intentionally entitled, "Diary of a Real-Life Vet."

To tell me that my feelings, my fights, my plights, my quest for helping those under served and at the mercy of every other living being is 'judgmental'. It was a blow that I took with reflection, consideration and acceptance. There is no other way for me. There is no other human being I can be. I can choose to live a life others define as right, and normal and abandon who I believe is right for me to be. Or, I can take a criticism from a lawyer who threatened to sue me because "it wouldn't cost her anything and it would be so easy" . Or, I can choose the easy path. The path everyone else thinks I should take. Care a little less, invest a little less, and be a little safer.

Seems to me that this road is always at the expense of someone else, or someone else's pet. I can be different. I can be alone. I can be judged and accused and threatened and sued. And, again I can be OK with who I am. I simply have to be.

There is no other person who will do more, be more, and risk more. I must be this person. I must love a pet, their person, and I must try to be a little stronger, a little more helpful, and yes, in the process stick my neck out a little further. It has caused endless heated discussion in my home. My husband believes it is stupid that I care, that I extend myself so blindly, so willingly, and never with compensation for my time or attention. That was the worst of this nightmare. That he should be ashamed of me, my actions, and my vulnerability. And, to compound the pain and dismay, that I would need him to bail me out of this predicament.

If you ask me for help I will help. If you tell me that your pet is yours to decide and you decide wrong, well, than I suppose that you can call me judgmental. It is an opinion. You are entitled to yours. Wrong as I believe that it might be for your pet.

And so today, like so many other hard days I stood for what I believe in, for being a student of learning, and an advocate for kindness, compassion, and fortitude.

And so again, I will be tested, and I am OK with it, I have to be OK with it. There is no other way I can walk away with any self respect. With every challenge and every road block and every self proclaimed asshole I meet along  the way who threatens me. If you believe in something you stand by it. Through obstacles, pain, threats and hardship.

So, I am left standing a little bowed, broken a little bit, and weary of facing the firing squad.

To the lawyer with the threats, the hatred only you seem to be able to justify, guilt, blame, and poor life choices I say "To err is human, to forgive, is divine, and to enable is futile."

To the shadow who shouldn't have a pet because they become unhinged when they die of natural causes I say, "I am sorry. You fight demons I cannot see in a world I do not share."

I head to court tomorrow to face a demon with two heads, in a world of slander, games, and deception. We will let the courts decide. The emotional burden may just cost me my professional life, but it won't cost me my purpose, my voice, or my pen.

Post Script; I understand that there is a line between my personal life, the life I post on social media, the challenges faced in practice, and the vulnerability I allow by posting such personal stories. I am currently living having to look over my back with protective orders, court appearances, lawyers at every step I take and still I have to try to live,, without fear, regret, and silence. I have sat on this blog for months. There are others to follow. Lists of advice on how to face a legal suit, how to keep yourself from drowning in threats, blackmail, and how the world of law is the antithesis of medicine. These blogs are personal, the content is real, and I fear that my personal safety is in danger. I just won't sit silently in fear any longer.

If you are afraid find me. You aren't alone. I am here.

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